![\"\"](\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-7wZW7Sjf07Y\/TVk_Lmn0vgI\/AAAAAAAACIs\/WYt4LkJ2y9g\/s1600\/roses.jpg\" "\\"dozen\\"")
There are so many things in life that we simply cannot control (as is especially clear right now, around the 10 year anniversary of 9\/11), but what about the things we CAN control? \u00a0As human beings, we have the power of reasoning and choice, both of which give us substantial control over our own life situations\u2026 we just need to be reminded of this from time to time.\u00a0 Following is my reminder list of the 12 Most Important Things We All Control:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
1. Acting:<\/p>\n
I am referring here to \u201cacting\u201d as our ability to take action. We all have days when we feel stuck and think there is no way to make forward progress, but we can always take action, even if it is just a small step in the direction you want to go.\u00a0 You also have control of what<\/em> actions you take:\u00a0 you can take a stand for a cause you believe in and encourage others to do the same; you can refuse to put up with mistreatment in any situation; you can decide to act with integrity at all times.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Attitude:<\/p>\n You can\u2019t control someone else\u2019s attitude, but you can control your own.\u00a0 It is up to you whether you get angry at your customers who give you not-so-positive feedback, or if you choose to see ANY feedback as valuable data and a chance engage with your customer.\u00a0 The same goes for your personal life \u2013 are you going to be the person who makes the best of a tough situation, or are you going to have a defeatist attitude, and just give up?\u00a0 You choose!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. Commitment:<\/p>\n Commitment involves your heart, which only you can control.\u00a0 That means nobody else has the power to compromise the strength of your commitment(s) or force your dedication to something.\u00a0 \u00a0When you intentionally give your time, energy, talents, and love to particular projects, relationships and charities, you are in full control of those commitments, and everyone benefits from your choices.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. Empathy<\/p>\n Will you try to first understand, or to be understood?\u00a0 Empathy starts with you and your interest in someone else and his or her experience.\u00a0 You can control the way you approach any interaction \u2013 with friends, significant others, customers, or anyone!\u00a0 (Hint: if you empathize with customers, they will notice and pay attention!)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. Focus<\/p>\n You get to control what you pay attention to, where you put your focus.\u00a0 We forget sometimes with all the information available to us through social media that we do not have to listen to and read everything that crosses our screens. The same goes for the rest of your life \u2013 you get to set your priorities and set your focus as clearly as you want.\u00a0 What means the most to you?\u00a0 What do you care the most about?\u00a0 What is most relevant to your work, your customers, and the rest of your life?\u00a0 Those are the things that should be getting your focus.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6. Friendship<\/p>\n This is about our personal decision to be a friend\u2026 because of course we can only control our own half of a friendship. I learned from my father the value of true friendship, watching him offer his own time and assistance to neighbors with no expectation of return favors, and never \u201ckeeping score.\u201d\u00a0 When someone is in need, you control whether or not you will reach out to that person with an offer of help or simply authentic connection.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n 7. Listening<\/p>\n You can control if<\/em><\/strong> you will listen to someone, then how<\/em><\/strong> you will listen.\u00a0 When you ask a question, do you pay close attention to the answer?\u00a0 And even if you haven\u2019t asked a question, do you still focus on what someone is saying, taking care to hear their words and the meaning behind them?\u00a0 There is a lot of chatter out there, so it is even more important to keep your listening skills fresh, both in written and spoken conversations.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 8. Hearing<\/p>\n Hearing, to me, is what you do when you take listening one level further and involve your heart and understanding.\u00a0 When you truly hear someone, you empathize with them, and seek to understand where they are coming from and even what they are feeling.\u00a0 You control whether you give that extra effort or not.\u00a0 Do you find yourself \u201cblocking out\u201d what someone is saying because you either don\u2019t agree with it, or can\u2019t be bothered to understand?\u00a0 Try really hearing someone, and chances are you will find them interesting, wise, and possibly even a great sounding board for you<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 9. Learning<\/p>\n Learning happens inside your own mind, and although others may influence it, you still control how open you are to taking in new information and integrating it with your work and life.\u00a0 You can control, for example, whether you let mistakes shut you down or teach you, \u00a0and whether you will keep up with the latest new research in your field or settle for letting your knowledge go stale (warning: think about what your customers want and need from you!).\u00a0 You always have a chance to grow and learn, which gives you a way to stay excited about your work, your life, and your value.\u00a0 They say life is an open book, so why not choose to learn from all of it??<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 10. Love<\/p>\n You might think you cannot control love, but what you do with your heart cannot be decided by anyone else. \u00a0\u00a0Will you keep your heart shut, or will you open it so love can come in and go out?\u00a0 When you give love, it makes everything you do more significant and meaningful \u2013 for those you connect with AND for yourself. \u00a0It can be as small as opening a door for someone overloaded with groceries, or as big as risking your life to serve your country.\u00a0 Every act of love matters.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 11. Motivation<\/p>\n Motivation is about what entices someone. To motivate others, you first need to know their needs, preferences, passions, and even their pain points, so you can offer an incentive (reward) that is completely relevant and valuable to THEM.\u00a0 If you are willing to take the time to ask questions, listen to and hear their answers, you have a good chance at offering them effective motivation for a variety of actions.\u00a0\u00a0 This applies to your own motivation also.\u00a0 Set goals to help motivate you to take action toward accomplishments, followed by relevant rewards with each goal met.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 12. Mood<\/p>\n This one can be difficult to control, but it is still possible<\/em>.\u00a0 If someone \u201cmakes\u201d you angry, it is because you let them<\/strong> get under your skin, not because they had the power to choose your mood for you.\u00a0 This is all about whether you see the glass half empty or half full.\u00a0 This might sound Pollyanna, but it is true\u2026 when you control your viewpoint, your mood will follow!\u00a0\u00a0 Think of all the phrases that apply to this\u2026 \u201crose-colored glasses,\u201d\u00a0 \u201csilver lining to a dark cloud,\u201d \u201cmake lemonade out of lemons.\u201d\u00a0 All of these perspectives are in your control, so why not choose one that is more enjoyable for you (and those around you)?<\/p>\n Now that you have read all 12 of the things you can control\u2026 take notice that all of them have significant impact on your relationships, whether they\u2019re business or personal.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0You can\u2019t control each relationship, but you can decide to give relationships top priority in your work and home life.\u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t forget\u2026 it really is <\/strong><\/em>All About Relationships!<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Ted Rubin<\/em> Originally posted at<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>THE 12 MOST<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There are so many things in life that we simply cannot control (as is especially clear right now, around the 10 year anniversary of 9\/11), but what about the things we CAN control? \u00a0As human beings, we have the power of reasoning and choice, both of which give us substantial control over our own life … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[137,7],"tags":[1370,1423,1491,358,480,479,30,1490,3],"class_list":["post-3580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-posts","category-tedrubin","tag-ronr","tag-12-most","tag-choices","tag-relationships","tag-return-on-relationship","tag-ror","tag-social-media","tag-taking-control-of-our-lives","tag-ted-rubin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3580"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3583,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3580\/revisions\/3583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesocialcmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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